I’ve always been a naturally confident person, on the whole. There have been times however when I don’t feel confident in some situations. And that still happens now and then. Over the years, I’ve spoken with many different people who feel lacking in confidence and long to feel more confident as they go about their daily lives.
What I write about on this blog cannot be adequately named, simply because what it is, is not an it. Language cannot approach what I (and others) attempt to point toward. It’s always in vain however, because the act of pointing (being, being that) is what is being pointed to. So, we use metaphors to help. I like the metaphor of the snail looking for it’s home, forgetting that what it is literally is already home. The snail is a home in itself. It’s home (the shell) is not separate from the snail. The two can appear separate and at the same time, whole.
Or the metaphor of the coin. The coin has two sides; heads and tails. The heads and tails appear separate at first glance, one on one side, one on the other. But heads and tails lose their identity in the wholeness of ‘coin’. Heads never appears without the coin it helps to make up. Coin both includes and transcends heads and tails. Heads is heads and tails is tails and coin is both and neither.
So, what’s all this got to do with confidence you might ask? Well, the no-thing I’m pointing toward is literally our own being. And our own being is never one, separate thing alone. Being dresses up as all manner of time-bound, separate appearances. But being itself is totally confident. What you are is beyond your ordinary idea of confidence. Being is confidently being whatever shows up.
There is nothing outside of being, so it has nothing to fear. However, being both someone and no one, the ever confident being, may just well be confident enough to show up as a someone that is not confident! Everything is allowed. It’s only the self that feels deficient that has a problem with not feeling confident. Being has the confidence to show up lacking in confidence. Wouldn’t it be a rather boring place if EVERYONE was confident. It’s like saying everyone should wear blue or believing that I should never cry.
So, what you are is confidence beyond the dualistic version of confidence. It is the confidence that embraces the opposite of confidence, like shyness or caution. And there is a place for shyness, there is a place for lack of confidence. True confidence doesn’t have a problem with it’s opposite.